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News: You know you're a Java weenie when...

  1. You know you're a Java weenie when... (6 messages)

    You have to have a bit of fun today :)
    1. Hani viciously biles you, and you publicly thank him for it, calling it "an honor"
    2. You go to TheServerSide Java Symposium even though you talk about how much you hate TheServerSide.com. You then try to hide in sessions as you blog that you only go because you like Vegas
    3. You feel the need to tell the whole world that Sun has rejected your JavaOne talk, and then further embarrass yourself by claiming its some sort of conspiracy
    4. You think its great that we have 45 XML APIs and 938 Web frameworks, claiming that "choice is a good thing."
    5. You are excited about SQL AOP (and now SQXML AOP)
    6. You complain that Maven is too complex and completely unusable, then gradually let it slip that you've never actually gone so far as to try it out before assailing it
    7. You feel the need to blog every time you need a job or are offered a job
    8. You go out and spend a small fortune on a 30" Apple LCD and then rub it in everyone's face... multiple times
    9. You think that whoever doesn't choose to waste their money on overpriced, underpowered Apple hardware couldn't possibly have the critical thinking skills required to be a good software developer
    10. After making a small fortune as a Java author and consultant you turn around and tell people it completely sucks and they should have been using Ruby for the past few years
    11. After making a small fortune as a Java author and consultant you throw it all away to learn Objective-C and try to convince the world that managed code is just a fad and that platform marketshare really isn't all that important anyway
    12. You are mercilessly rude to Microsoft for years until they send you on an expensive and exclusive "summit", after which you are all warm and cuddly with your new best friends in Redmond
    13. You embarrass the entire Enterprise Java community by blogging about how neat it is that PHP wraps CGI state in variables (next blog: "Wow! Perl has this cool $_ variable!")
    14. You endorse Struts for years and then overnight change positions and start claiming that it's a huge heaping pile of crap and taking irrational pleasure in bashing Craig McClanahan
    15. You think naming client-side browser scripting after a cleaning agent will somehow change the hellish set of horrors that is dynamic HTML development ;-)

    Happy April 1st -- Dion and Ben

    Threaded Messages (6)

  2. 16[ Go to top ]

    16. You go pick a fight on TSS when you're bored/sick of working instead of doing more productive things like taking your dog for a walk.
  3. 17[ Go to top ]

    You actually read all 16 previous entries.
  4. Funny Thread[ Go to top ]

    This is a funny thread.

    1) I've been "honored" by Hani a little too often. It took me a while to learn, but now I don't post comments on his blog any longer.

    2, 3) don't apply. I think TSSS is one of the best conferences for the money. I also really like the NFJS series of conferences.

    4) choice is good... Uh Oh?!

    5, 6, 7, 8) don't apply. I dig Maven. Self employed. I travel a lot and it would be too hard to lug a 30" monitor about.

    9) I do go to the Mac store and drool. I recently bought a nice HP 17" desktop replacement laptop with all the bells and whistles. I can't use Mac b/c client sometimes have me use software that only runs on Windows.

    10) I like Java. The language that has brought me the most joy programming has been Python. I have not tried Ruby yet, but it sounds pretty good.

    11) Objective-C looks nice. I know who you are talking about.... (JDD) Too funny.

    12) I was a long-time M$ enthusiast (head bowed in shame) until Java came along. I kept my eye on .Net. I thought ASP.Net and WinForms had some pretty cool ideas. Now I like Tapestry and JSF.

    13) I never understood why PHP did so well.

    14) This one hits pretty close to home. I've said some negative things about Struts, but never Craig McClanahan. It is not that I hate Struts... it is just that WebWork, SpringMVC, JSF, and Tapestry seem so much better.

    15) Yes. I believe it was you who convinced me that Ajax was cool. :o) This bullet applies to you. Doesn't it?
  5. 15. You think naming client-side browser scripting after a cleaning agent will somehow change the hellish set of horrors that is dynamic HTML development ;-)

    Spoken like a true (and limited) server-side developer. I know this is a humor post, but it's always annoying when people say how bad DHTML development is, even in the context of being funny. It nearly always indicates someone who write server-side code exclusively (and probably not very good code frankly). DHTML is not that tough folks.

    I know what the problem is... there aren't enough TOOLS that do half your job for you for DHTML! I'm sick and tired of all these "developers" out there that think they are so great because they can have one Eclipse plug-in or another write half their app for them. Come on! How many people actually CODE these days anyway?

    It is embarassing to those of us that know our arse from our elbows and can actually PROGRAM instead of just click through a bunch of wizard screens. And worse still, half the time those types of people don't even understand the code that was spit out by whatever tool they are using!

    Sometimes I wish we'd go back to nothing but Assembly. At least then we'd get rid of the pretenders. Of course, then the work force would be cut in half and I'd be able to charge ridiculously high fees. But NNNNOOOOOOOO, the genie is out of the bottle now and those of us that can actually write code don't matter as much because any Tom, Dick or Harry can churn out some generated code with their favorite tool.

    Of course, Tom, Dick and Harry seem to find DHTML too tough to deal with, so I guess that's the trade-off, isn't it?
  6. TSS creating biles?[ Go to top ]

    Wow, number 15 could be taken out of my blog. I really tried hard to be biled from mr. bile himself and not a lousy imitation <g>. But perhaps its all different and i am just too tired or too non-native speaking to get it. :)

    Marc Logemann
    http://www.logemann.org
  7. or when you reply every item in the list because you feel personally identified xD