If Programming Languages ran the Airlines

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News: If Programming Languages ran the Airlines

  1. If Programming Languages ran the Airlines (7 messages)

    [Editor: A bit of humor for a very snowy Monday morning here in New England.] We all know the hilarious page titled "If Operating Systems ran the airlines". If you don't know it, you can find it at http://www.zyra.org.uk/os-air.htm. I thought it was time for another version, with Programming Languages instead of Operating Systems. Here it is: http://www.matrixweb.nl/airlines.html. Enjoy! And, if you have a good one to add, you can mail to dev at matrixweb dot nl.

    Threaded Messages (7)

  2. Ruby Air[ Go to top ]

    Ruby Air: You arrive at the airport, which is actually a nightclub. There is a band playing at the check-in desk. They are playing music which sounds like New Wave from the early 80s, but the band is made up of people born after 1975. You swear that the woman at the ticket counter looks like Adele Goldberg, but she just looks at you funny, and won't let you past until you exchange your Dell laptop for a MacBook Pro. You are told the only place the plane will land is Portland. The interior of the plane is retro-chic, and the pilot has piercings and spikey hair. After take-off, the landing gear of the plane won't retract, and is missing oxygen masks, but the pilot says that's O.K., because when he build the plane he used unit tests. Halfway through the flight, the plane runs out of fuel, and you are all forced to transfer onto a new plane after a brief landing on a pacific island. You see Jack Sheppard on the island.
  3. And another Java Air[ Go to top ]

    Java Air: You arrive at the check-in counter to find that it is in fact only a Reference Implementation check-in counter for the Enterprise Check-In Counter API specified by a consortium last year, and does not provide a fully robust check-in counter, and in any case, there is now a 2.0 API. While you're standing there confused, you do notice there are five other check-out counters, so you pick one at random. The ticket turns out to be free. However, after receiving your ticket, you find out that in order to use your ticket to get to your destination, you will need to build a scaffolding from your area of the airport to the runway. Several days later, you arrive on the plane to find it missing several features you saw on other planes, such as reading lights or an onboard entertainment system. When you ask why the plane doesn't have these features you are told that they would confuse new passengers and in any case, just bring a flashlight and a book. In the end the flight goes smoothly, and you arrive where you want to go, but you feel really bored.
  4. Re: And another Java Air[ Go to top ]

    In the end the flight goes smoothly, and you arrive where you want to go, but you feel really bored.
    As far as airplane flights go, I'd say boring == good. There are a number of airline flights that were probably very exciting that I would not wish on anyone.
  5. A bit Java biased! The .Net thingie was nice until the bad surprise at the end. I am actually anti-MS most of the time (Analysis Services in No. 1), but hey .Net can take you places :) Also, .Net is not a language. You would have done better, leaving all with happy ending, because honestly all except maybe for PL/1, are functional languages with Pos and Cons, many people wrote great application in C++, PHP or .Net, some even in Java :P So rewrite it, and make em all end happily :)
  6. Perl Air[ Go to top ]

    We could all go bananas doing Perl Air.
  7. Perl Air[ Go to top ]

    Perl Air: You arrive at the ticket window and get a ticket that you can't comprehend. You go to an airplane which doesn't look like it should be able to fly. In the end, it takes you to a different airport than what you want to go to. You ask the pilot why that is and he says, "we've tried to figure out how to change the airplane to go to a different airport, but we can't figure it out".
  8. JavaFX Air[ Go to top ]

    This one is an offspring of a very traditional airline which is around for some ten years, with a good safety record, but aircrafts available in grey color and flying to all business destinations. The new sibling starting up is very colorful and supposed to fly to hip and colorful holiday destinations using whatever aircraft you like, including hot air balloons, surfboards and submarines, though it doesnt offer flights on freely available aircrafts (not yet). You buy a ticket with fancy 3D holograms printed on it and the flight attendants are not walking along the aisle but sliding in from the side. Before you board you can easily choose the color scheme of the plane, but then you need to paint it by yourself because there is no one doing that for your with fancy tools. It is fun flying with them. They are competing with the other budget airlines, Silverlight Air and Flex Air.