Haskell researchers have found someone who they didn't know who actually cares about Haskell: Seth Briars. They set a honey pot for him, but it failed, so they brute-forced the search and found him.
He hasn't threatened to sue them yet.
Briars says he is pleased to have been recognized for his apparently unique shit-giving about Haskell. "I've been giving a shit about Haskell for a long as I can remember. I follow all their announcements and developments closely, just in case I ever get the urge to use the language for something someday."
"It's a beautiful, elegant language," Briars observed as he busied himself cleaning a fingernail. "You'd be hard-pressed to find a more expressive and composable core. And they've made astounding advances over the years in performance, interoperability, extensibility, tooling and documentation."
"I'm kind of surprised I'm the only person on earth who gives a shit about it," Briars continued. "I'd have thought there would be more people following the press releases closely and then not using Haskell. But they all just skip the press releases and go straight to the not using it part."
I've looked at Haskell and then decided that I would jump to the "not learning it" part - its on my todo list but let's just say I have flying to the US so I can get my junk searched higher. Anyone used it in production? What do you use it for? Why would I bother with it? Convince me.